Four-time Xterra world champ Conrad “The Caveman” Stoltz:
1. Helluva strong coffee. I drink French roast because sadly, my Kona grinds ran out just after the holidays. I brew coffee in a stovetop Italian espresso maker and coat it with a little sugar and a big blow of condensed milk. You have to blow in one of the two holes in the tin to help it flow faster. No double clutching (when you suck instead of blow) allowed. The last time I double clutched was a fateful day in 1995—in the bundus [wild region] on our farm [in South Africa]. A good-size cockroach found its way into the one hole. Let’s just say I had to suck extra hard to get the cockroach to come out, and I never sucked again.
2. With good coffee goes good chocolate—Cadbury Whole Walnut or Top Deck.
3. A South African specialty: beskuit. It is a chunky, dry biscuit, but it softens up well when dunked in coffee.
4. Kudu Biltong. Biltong is like beef jerky—only better. It’s a piece of air-dried and cured fillet from beef or game. Ostrich is the best. I would say biltong is South Africa’s number-one delicacy.
5. Potatoes. I buy them in 20-pound bags.
6. Lots of pesto. Hummus. Olive tapenade. Irish butter. Whipping cream—all to put on potatoes.
7. Meat. I like lamb chops on the flames for a barbecue on a wood fire (or “braai” in South Africa). The hole in the ozone over Antarctica is from all the braai-ing we do down here. This goes great with drinking beer and socializing.
8. Beets in bunches
9. Frozen veggies: peas, carrots or edamame. I boil them whole with salt and crumbled feta.
10. Beer. Cavemen had Cavebrew (it was a microbrew). Really, they did.
What is Stoltz’s eating proverb?
“I follow the caveman eating orthodoxy: If it grows on a plant or can be dug from the ground or picked from a tree or if it swims in the ocean or roams on feet or hooves—it is probably good for you. But if it was made in a factory, it’s probably not good for you. Sure chocolate and beskuits are made in a factory, but I’m too useless by the trappings of technology to make them at home. I strive to eat 80 percent caveman-ish. When I buy groceries, my cart looks more or less like my great-grandparents’ cart, except for the plastic wheels and fancy packaging.”
This article originally appeared in the 2011 May/June issue of Inside Triathlon.
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